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wSpring Tide |
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The tandem pull of the sun and the moon
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wSunday, March 21, 2004 |
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I was invited to participate in something wonderful -- a Blessing Way, its called -- a gathering to honor and celebrate a woman who's going to make that rite of passage into motherhood.
We convened at the house where the birth would be, about 25 women, all of whom had a connection to Carrie. We sat and talked and ate good food and laughed a lot. A wonderful footbath of lavender, chamomile and various pungeant herbs was assembled. We took turns massaging her feet, braiding fresh cut flowers in her hair. Each of us brought something personal to place on an altar honoring her, an altar that would be reassembled when it came time for her labor. We each gave her our altar gifts, telling her what it meant to us, what she meant to us, and how we felt about her upcoming transition. Almost all of the women there were birthing experts -- midwives, labor and delivery nurses, preemie nurses like Carrie. It was a wonderful day of EstrogenPower™ Carrie looked completely radiant - healthy, glowing, bursting with the life inside her.
The final part of the day was we took a skein of knitting yarn and passed it across the circle, wrapping it several times around our wrists or our ankles, creating this web with Carrie as the center. We each cut the yarn and secured our piece of it to ourselves. When the time would come for labor, we'd all be notified, cut the yarn that bound us to her and in a sense, be connected to her for the labor.
It was a wonderful day and a wonderful way to be involved in this incredible transformation taking place in Carrie's life. For about six weeks, I've thought of Carrie nearly daily, because I had a reminder of her and "Thumper" around my ankle. She was on my mind as I showered, whenever I put on or took off socks, anytime I felt the yarn that encircled my ankle, that still encircles my ankle.
On Monday of last week, Carrie went in to see the doctor. She'd had some contractions, but wouldn't seem to go fully into labor. She and Peter received the unbearable news that their little girl had died. So Carrie was induced, labored bravely for 25 hours and gave birth to the beautiful and perfect Irene, who had passed before ever taking her first breath.
No one is really clear why this baby died, and so close to her entrance into this world. I know my sense of loss and my grief is but a shadow of Carrie and Peter's pain. But I shed tears for Irene, for Carrie and Peter an for all of us who love Carrie and Peter and who never got to know this beautiful girl. Any child is amazing but Carrie and Peter's baby was going to be something special, born of two people deeply in love, who's lives overflow with love.
All I know is something like a bird
within her sang
All I know she sang a little while
and then flew on
Farewell, Irene. I wish you could have stayed a little bit longer.
posted by
Just Mary at 3:36 PM
6 comments
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wThursday, March 11, 2004 |
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Ya know, I was treading water pretty well for awhile, even making headway against the current. But the waves have kicked up again and I'm once more strugglin to keep my head above water.
I speak, of course, of work.
(Oh christ. Not another post bitching about work. Feh. )
Ok ok, I'll keep it short. In an 8 person group, one went on vacation for 3 weeks. Another was out on a 5 day weekend. We came in on Monday with those two folks out to find that our manager had to return unexpectedly to China for a family emergency. He will be gone indefinitely. We don't know if he's coming back. We were already shortstaffed.
I got home at 2:30am.
Ooh, but one sorta cool thing. Our lab started working on E-waste... we break down electronics and analyze them for toxics (mostly metals, I think) So sitting in our sample room are some recent projects....
BRAND NEW 42 AND 50 INCH FLAT SCREEN HIGH DEFINITION PLASMA TVs.
Oh my god. They're gorgeous. Me want. Instead, we're destroying them. Sob. Its... its...
sigh.
For science.
Its not my project. I actually have nothing to do with it, even with the new tests I've taken on. Today I learned, however, that if you take a hammer to a flat screen tv screen, it doesn't shatter.
Science, doncha know.
posted by
Just Mary at 3:42 AM
6 comments
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