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wSpring Tide |
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The tandem pull of the sun and the moon
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wSaturday, November 23, 2002 |
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There seems to be a trend developing. As the week winds down and Saturday approaches, I plot in my mind about all the things I want to do. And every Saturday ends up the same -- me in my flannel jammies and wooly soft socks, playing on the computer, drinking coffee and doing nothing. I'm the Queen of Loungeabout on Saturdays.
I'm such a slug. Well... I actually know I'm not a lazy bum. Its just that the long days are wiping me out. Thurs is especially a killer -- leave the house at 7am and get home at 11 or 11:30 pm. That's after Wednesday when I leave the house at 8am and get home at 10pm or 11:30. Ok ok, so everyday is pretty similar but Thurs feels like the capper. By the time friday rolls around (which is only a 9 or 10 hour day, after all) I'm trashed. Completely, totally and utterly.
There is a light in the tunnel, however... err at the end of the tunnel. A week from Monday will be my last section I'll lead for this class. Then its one job for the rest of the month -- 40 hours a week, 10 hours a week of commuting. It's looking like luxurious vacation land to me, frankly. Finally I get to go out with friends during the week and have some small semblence of a social life. It's been awhile.
I've been offered a great class for next quarter -- the genetics class (Biochem isn't offered...). I said yes, but I'm wondering if that's the right thing to do. I should be thinking about studying for the GRE and the CBEST, the exams you take for graduate school and teaching credential programs. I should be working more on things/learning for me, rather than the students. On the other hand, I'm getting a killer refresher in biology by TAing these classes. I should be able to truly kick ass on the subject test for the GRE. I also could use the cash from TAing to pay for the freaking tests. (its like, $275 for the 2 GRE exams and I wouldn't be suprised if its a similar amount for the CBEST.) As long as I can make myself sleep 7-8 hours a night, I can handle the schedule. And its not like my personal life is breaking down my door and preventing me from working two jobs. Plus, I really love genetics and is such a treat to work with this professor. It was sweet that he asked for me for next quarter. Nice to be wanted. So what to do, what to do...
And speaking of indecision, I can't decide whether I want to go to graduate school or go teach high school. I could teach biochemistry, ochem or marine biology or straight biology in the big silicon valley school district. Or I could teach in a district just south of where I live. I could start that pretty soon. But I really want to do some significant research tho' too. I *want* to be a graduate student -- something in me wants to make a mark, see my name on a published paper, etc. Call me JustEgo, I guess. But on the other hand I don't want to leave the coast to go to school. I don't know if I can handle the workaholism required for another 6-8 years, I don't know if that's how I want to spend what little time I have left on this planet. I worry about being an old broad and trying to get hired. But I'm afraid if I don't do gradual school that I'll regret it. I do want to be able to keep teaching, however. And I really need to make money and get a new car and like, have some dental work done and do some of those body maintenance things (bodies can be such a pain, especially as they age. Pesky bodies, as Superchicken would say). So, in short, I still can't figure out what I want to do when I grow up. And it doesn't feel like I can do both -- teach high school for a little while then go to gradual school. My biological clock is ticking, and I don't mean the uterine one, I mean the memory one -- the working learning brain one. So I have to make a decision. Soon.
Meanwhile, I guess I'll just ride the incoming waves of whatever comes my way. I'm going to be offered a job at the poison factory soon and I'll have health benefits. (YAY!!! its scarey to be my age and uninsured... I'm at the age where the Big Bad can happen.) I'll probably TA the genetics class -- I really want to, even if its not the best thing for me to be doing. I think it will help me prepare for GREs and the Single Subject Test of the CBEST too. See? I can rationalize this...
"Gone are the days we stopped to decide
Where we should go we just ride" -- Robert Hunter
Someday I'll explain the significance of that quote to me... yes its the Dead. Crazy Fingers is the name of the song.
posted by
Just Mary at 8:20 PM
6 comments
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wWednesday, November 13, 2002 |
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Its been over seven years since I saw them all together. In December, I will see them again. Jerry won't be on the stage but his spirit will be there.
I feel like I'm going home.
posted by
Just Mary at 2:02 AM
7 comments
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wFriday, November 08, 2002 |
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Oooh, big honking storm last night and today. Tons of rain dumped on the central coast causing many accidents. Hellish commute.
When I got home I could hear the ocean roaring from my house, which is about 6 blocks from the ocean. I wanted to go look at it but I was feeling dead tired after a 15 hour day, so I wimped out. Because I'd had caffeine before driving home, however, I'm wide awake. So with a little surfing (so to speak) I found Buoy 46042, which gives real time data on the internet.
Holy wetsuit batman, 29 foot waves every 17 seconds! Recorded from a buoy that its in 1900 METERS of water. So hello El Nino ... I think we're soaking in it.
posted by
Just Mary at 2:29 AM
14 comments
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wSunday, November 03, 2002 |
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From the Washington Post.. I thought this was pretty funny:
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent mindedly answer the door in your nightie.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question in an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
Have a great week, folks.
posted by
Just Mary at 10:06 PM
13 comments
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Ugh. Sunday night. I hate Sunday nights. Well, I hate them now that I actually have sundays.... even weekends, actually. I'm just not ready to go back to the grind.
Work has slowed. I'm down to 40 hours at the toxics lab and about 10 in biochem land. Feels positively luxurious to have "so much free time." Heh. I'm still tired and my immune system is still getting hammered. I'm considering some dietary changes to bolster the immune system... specifically what they call a "candida cleanse."
The idea behind the candida cleanse is that your body gets run down because of an overgrowth of yeast in the system. You cut out foods that yeast likes -- sugars, grains, fermented foods, dairy, eggs etc and starve out the overgrowth, your system recovers and you feel better. I don't know if I place much faith in the "yeast overgrowth" theory. I do know my immune system is hammered these days because of all the chemicals at work. And I know that this method of eating works when I'm tired and run down.
The deal with the diet is you eat only fresh meat, fresh veggies and brown rice. No grains, no dried foods, no dried seasonings, no wheat, no corn, no dairy, no nuts, no vinegars, no fermented foods (like tofu), no citrus fruit -- actually no fruit at all. Definitely no alcohol. You don't cook in oil or butter. Fat comes from animal fat. The main thing I noticed about this diet is that it excludes a lot of foods I'm allergic to -- wheat, corn, dairy, eggs, for example. Slight modifications that I made where: added apples, pepper, soy sauce, peanut butter and fresh organic tomatoes.
Typical breakfast for me would be brown rice and broccoli or half a baked yam. Cold. Lunch would be canned tuna on mixed greens and raw veggies. Dinner would be meat, brown rice n steamed veggies of some kind. After a week of this, it actually tastes pretty good.
If it sounds boring, that's because it is. But it works. I first did it for 6 weeks after a winter of being sick a lot. I don't think I got sick again for a year. My theory about it is that it works because it cuts out foods you're allergic too.. or have mild allergies to. I know I feel so damn good when I'm on it. Hard to argue with success, regardless of the reason behind it.
Anyway, I have to do something. There are noises at the toxics lab about hiring me permanent. And I may have to take it, as it gives me some scheduling flexibility, and no one else is breaking down my door to hire me. At my advanced age I get very nervous about being uninsured too, so this would give me medical, dental and vision insurance. (I'm older than the pope...). Given how tough it is on my system -- I'm a delicate freakin flower -- I feel like I need to do something to mitigate it...
Heh. I started writing tonight thinking "I don't have a thing to say..." and yet, somehow the words came out. Wonders never cease.
posted by
Just Mary at 10:02 PM
5 comments
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