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The tandem pull of the sun and the moon
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wTuesday, September 24, 2002 |
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whew. must sleep soon, but thought I'd update.
Tutoring is GREAT!! I really love it. The kids are great and I really enjoy working with them. Tonight I got recruited to teach by the parents of one of my kids... both are superintendent types in two different school districts and both think I should come teach in their district. Heh.
I know they're desperate for teachers, but I'm still taking it as a compliment. Take what you can get, right?
While the kids are great and I'm loving working with them, I'm ... at a loss for words to describe how tired I am. Gimme some cheese, dammit, cuz I'm gonna whine!
Ok, I won't. But I know I'm not going to be able to keep this up for long.
And before I sign off, the pope is a bastard for putting the knight in cold storage. Who is Althea going to abuse now? Ok ok, there might be someone out there she can be mean to, but no one... I mean NO ONE has been as fun as Sleipnir to abuse. (ok, Luna and Drenn show some promise...) And oh, the things Althea has done to both him and Baba... mean ugly nasty things. Underhanded. Viscious. But its always been done in the name of the clicker's fun, and I've always been laughing on the other end and I know the Pope was laughing too. (I think...) Most recently, the last time the two encountered each other, insulting each other, one-upping each other in rudeness, I was laughing so hard, tears were running down my face. Trading insults with Sleipnir and Baba has been some of the best fun I've had in clanlord.
Most of Althea's conflicts actually seriously hate me in game or have some issue with me, the clicker. I can understand that... I'm a bit of strong personality, stubborn, sometimes reactionary and bad tempered. My character is controversial, being a Pogue, a bisexual, at one time under the control of Sendorian and his ilk, and for two years being a minion of Qual's. In short, I don't play my characters as wallflowers, I'm not much of a wallflower and Althea and I can be real bitches. However, most of my character's conflicts in clanlord actually have real issues with me as much as Althea. But with Sleipnir, Althea could *hate* him, play at hating him, do awful things to him (and Baba) and I knew The Pope and I were ok. I know because I checked. Often. heh. Mebbe he and Tove lied to me, but I don't think so. In short, with Sleipy and Baba, I could let my hair down and let Althea be a bitch. :) And she has been *nasty*. And its been so much damn fun.
I'm not convinced Baba is gone, so I'm not saying bye to her. But to you, Pope, I say thanks for the good humor and the wicked repartee'. Get your butt back in game soon. If only so Althea can kick sleipnir around a lil more ;) You have created one of the great characters of clanlord. If you truly are gone, I'm going to miss you. a bunch.
Bastard.
posted by
Just Mary at 1:18 AM
23 comments
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wSaturday, September 21, 2002 |
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I barely notice my commute anymore. I think my brain turns off while I drive down the miles.
A downside to my commute is the busted tape deck in the car ('85 car). So tune-age is restricted to whatever comes in on the radio. Lately, I confess its been ... classic rock.
I actually kind of like it. Is that sad n pathetic? I think it makes me officially old. Heh. But hearing bands I haven't heard in years, songs I know by heart, has been really great. I remember times in my life when I was hearing that music and I sing while cruising down the freeway -- the older chick in the beat up toyota with dead and phish stickers singing at the top of her lungs.
Like I care who sees me.
So I'm getting reacquainted with Pink Floyd, Jackson Browne, Cars, Pretenders, Queen, Heart, Fleetwood Mac (Rumours era mostly) Yes, Bob Seeger, Fuckin Neil (aka Neil Young), Crosby Stills Nash Young (and various permutations thereof...) It surprises me how much music I only heard in passing, I still know by heart.
posted by
Just Mary at 2:18 AM
9 comments
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I'm starting to like the smell of ether.
Should I worry?
posted by
Just Mary at 2:04 AM
3 comments
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wFriday, September 20, 2002 |
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Hey its been awhile since I uttered those two words that run through my life, like a black muddy river rolling to the sea.
I'm tired. I'm so freaking tired.
First biochem class today, a meeting, some phone calls, two hours of commuting and 9 hours of work in the lab. Class was awesome. I love this prof. He's so good at teaching... really gifted and really seems to love it. He wove some fun stuff into the opening lecture -- tetrodotoxin, zombies, pufferfish -- all to illustrate biochemistry's application to ecology (as well as bring in the thrill element of zombies -- tetrodotoxin is what they use to paralyze people in zombie rituals.) He's also way into bacteria, which just makes him fun to talk to, at least for me. His use of tetrodotoxin as a thread in the lecture caught my attention especially because its produced by a bacterial symbiosis. I wasn't sure it was proven, but he says it is. Anyway, that type of symbiosis is something I've been thinking about for almost a year. So it was very cool to see my favorite prof, who I haven't taken a class with in awhile, bring up an area I'd been thinking about. I mean, its not a very popular area of study.
It was a good morning.
Work was long. I talked to the health and safety officer at the company about the haz room. She asserts that the levels in the room have been tested and are fine and that some people are just more sensitive than others. Kind of pissed me off... because its like "oh yer sensitive, there isn't a problem." I think its kinda bullshit. In any case they're going to allegedly badge me at some point to look at my exposure levels. They've never tested the person doing my job before, just the analysts who do all their work under hoods. And I don't think I'm too sensitive about needing to hold my breath to walk in the haz room, but she pretty much left me feeling like she thought I was being over concerned.
Yeah. I love being patronized.
So, now I'm going to do a lil research on solvent exposure to find out what's hazardous (in my oh so copious spare time *cough*.) I mean, aside from the chemical taste in my mouth and nose I go home with every night, sometimes I sorta start to upchuck after being in that room -- like extreme indigestion. So I think there's a problem. And since they don't seem to agree, but at least agreed to check my exposure, I'll be armed with information when the results come back.
Assuming they do it.
Lots of other things on my mind -- mostly about what I'm going to do with the rest of my freaking life. Having such a great morning at the university only made me more confused. I'll have to write more about that at another time.
Must. Sleep.
posted by
Just Mary at 1:26 AM
6 comments
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wTuesday, September 17, 2002 |
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Its raining students.
8 students to be exact. Some middle of the road, some high achievers. My job will be to a) raise their SAT scores b) make it fun and c) I don't remember the c yet... it will come to me, I'm sure.
Its going to be some work, but I'm looking forward to the challenge.
I'm also starting TAing this week in biochem. woo hoo!
The folks at the toxin plant are being extremely accomodating of my schedule... I'm thankful for that. I think they're impressed I'm a TA. So now I'll be juggling a full time job, 8 students to tutor, and a biochemistry TA-ship.
Uh... how am I doing this? Oh, that's right... no weekends, no complete days off. Right. S'ok.. I can handle it for a few weeks. Come December, I may have zero work. The sun is shining, time to make hay...
Hope I don't cut myself on the scythe.
posted by
Just Mary at 10:17 PM
6 comments
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wSaturday, September 14, 2002 |
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This morning finds me a bit more sane. Still, I won't delete my whiney post below, which could have included my annoyance that the guy who was supposed to assign me students yesterday (for the SAT tutoring) didn't do what he said he was going to do. So those highschoolers eagerly waiting for tutor to call (cough) and show them the light about beating the SAT will have to wait a bit longer.
The tutoring company claims they want me to do some SAT subject stuff too -- chem and bio and literature. I am jazzed about that, but the fact that they didn't send me any students when they said they would makes me wonder if its all talk. In fact, every time someone has said they'd send me email with relevant info, they haven't and I've had to pester them for the information.
I'm starting to wonder if they're trying to tell me something.
(uh oh.. here I go getting bitchy again. )
So today I think I'll be relaxing... Sort of a shame I don't have time for a nap... Gretchen (the older going senile cat) started waking me up at 7am today. I don't think "weekend/let Mary sleep in" is in her vocabulary. I count my blessings it wasn't 5am.
Later today is the annual Virgo party for a group of friends who are all Virgos. I will eat drink play music and be Mary.
I think I sorely need this.
posted by
Just Mary at 12:00 PM
9 comments
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I'm whiney.
Got home at 11pm after leaving the house at 7:30am. Traffic sucked, other drivers are idiots and morons -- 3 near accidents today holy freakin mother of christ.
sigh.
Someone get me out of here.
Anywhere but my life.
posted by
Just Mary at 12:25 AM
0 comments
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wFriday, September 13, 2002 |
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I'm hating my job. Trying to keep a good spin on it: "its just for a few months, Mary... or until something better comes along." (yes, it turns out they plan to keep me there for 2-3 months...) If they hired me as a chemist instead of lab rat and paid me more money, I'd considering working there for awhile. They have some good perks in terms of being pretty flexible about when you work. This would work really well for me. The commute's a bear, but the time I spend in the car is pretty good for reflecting -- its like "me time." I get to think and reflect.
There's some down sides . People are tense because the company, like many, has been downsizing. I'm also unclear about how much the owner cares about the health and safety of the employees.
I'm kinda unhappy about the toxics exposure. The worst part of my day is when I have to deal with the lab waste. It's primarily solvent wastes -- methylene chloride, acetone and ether. When I first started working there, I'd walk into the hazardous waste room -- a 12x12x20 foot room (with a ventilator continually going) with HUGE drums of solvent and acid waste, along with these shelves of mysteriously labeled samples -- and I'd feel blasted from the fumes. I couldn't breathe. So I'd hold my breath, open a drum, slap on the funnel, walk outside, exhale. Then I'd take a breath, bring in the bottle, start it dumping, walk outside and breathe.
You get the idea.
Now I walk in there and I don't notice nearly as much. I haven't even been worrying about holding my breath. I don't hang out in there, but I don't hold my breath anymore either. I'm taking allergy pills every day -- something I haven't done since I was a kid -- because my respiratory system goes haywire if I don't. Periodically during the day, I'll get some dirty piece of something or other and get blasted by god knows what -- tonight something I was helping out the inorganics group with made my eyes water and blasted my nose hard.
This can't be good for me. And its pissing me off. Mostly the haz room is the problem.
I talked to a chemist today in the metals group while outside of the haz room. I ran into him when he was dealing with his bench's acid waste, while I was dealing with solvent waste. Turns out they used to have respirators to walk into the hazardous waste room. But it seems that respirators are rather pesky and expensive because you have to be individually fitted and trained for them. Additionally, you have to have a physical before working with one. So they got rid of 'em. The lab director mumbled something to the chemist (he said) about trying not to breath in that room.
Say what?
Here's the ironic part: all over the lab -- in every restroom, in every hallway -- are these pictures by famous nature photographers and lithographers. We got yer greenpeace posters, your brandenburg wolf photos, plenty of dolphins -- we're so fucking green, we can't stand ourselves. This lab has flourished because environmental regulations mandate testing of water and soil in order to safeguard the environment -- the water we drink, the soil we grow food on or let our kids play in. The company manual references "protecting our biosphere. "
And the first day of every work week, I come home feeling like hell. I can't get the metallic taste out of my mouth and nose during the week.
Ok ok I'm ranting. But shit, man. I'm in the position of saying something and risking being dismissed (I'm on temporary assignment after all). And I can't afford not to work right now.
sigh. My InnerActivist� is going to have to handle this. I already got permission to rinse some bottles under the hood. I can't freaking believe my supervisor had to go to her supervisor to get this ok'd... hello? I have to ask permission for protection from fumes? I'm not happy it wasn't an "oh of course!" response.
And in other news, I'm going to be tutoring kids who want to rock the SATs.. well, who's parents want them to rock the SATs. This will happen in my oh so abundant spare time (cough).
I'm looking forward to this work. I figure I can do it on Sat mornings, or in the early evenings on my way home from the Toxics Plant. "See? you need to get into a good college and get good grades or you'll end up scrambling for work like me and getting poisoned for your measly wage."
moo.
posted by
Just Mary at 12:29 AM
4 comments
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wTuesday, September 10, 2002 |
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Still not much to report. a 17 hour day. I'm fried. I get to do it again tomorrow. I should be asleep. But that would mean I'd have to stand up and walk to my bed.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
posted by
Just Mary at 12:18 AM
3 comments
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wWednesday, September 04, 2002 |
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Not much to report. Quiet weekend in spite of financial scrambling.
I freaking hate being broke.
I think I'm allergic to my job. When I leave work I start sneezing my face off. Last week it would happen driving home. After yesterday, it happened in the middle of the night. I don't think my body likes the toxics. Tuff to get the chemical taste out of my mouth at night.
I'm not sure how long this job will last, but I'm applying for all kinds of other jobs in the interim. This morning before driving 1 hour to my work I have to drop off an application at the University. UCSF and Stanford have some interesting jobs as well -- all on the "lab tech" level. Nothing fancy, not a lot of money, but enough to start digging myself out. What this means is that I'm not sure I'm going to be able to TA this fall -- so far I haven't been able to set up another job in tandem with the TA gig.
Bums me out.
Someone pointed out I need a sugar daddy. I'd start taking applications but the response would be so overwhelming that I doubt I'd get a *thing* done.
*cough*
posted by
Just Mary at 6:55 AM
6 comments
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