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wSpring Tide |
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The tandem pull of the sun and the moon
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wThursday, May 23, 2002 |
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I was about to post I was tired, but realized I've been opening a lot of posts like that lately. I'm not tired. so there. Neener.
Today I'm going to try something that I'm not sure will work -- I wish I could do electron microscopy already... instead I'm going to use DAPI stain for DNA and epifluorescent microscopy. I hope it works. If it doesn't, I don't know how I'm going to finish this project. That would suck. At least I could write a paper about it and how it didn't work, but I wouldn't find the answer to the question I'm asking (I won't bore you with the question).
It should probably bother me that no one else at my university is asking the question I'm interested in. Sometimes I think about it and wonder "is this a given? is everyone else going 'well duh.' One prof's comment last quarter to this idea was that 'so and so didn't think it was true' (so and so is a marine microbial guy); hence no one is following up on it. But its turning out to be applicable in other toxic algae systems so why not toxic diatoms? Thing that's cool about it, is it could answer questions about geographic variability in toxicity and well as temporal differences. Also explains the difficulty in culturing toxic algae. Also could explain the seeming increase in toxic events in coastal waters (changing nutrient levels in waterways) But how come all these really brilliant people don't think its true?
Self-doubt. Its a killer. But the converse is delusions of grandeur -- like what I might be thinking could actually be important. So I try to remind myself that I'm just a dopey undergraduate, given to obsessive compulsive tendancies. And hope it will all even out in the wash.
And to feed my self-doubt, there's this staff person in the department I have to go to in order to obtain things I need for my experiment. He's been really discouraging the whole way. He's one of those people who, in order to feel good about themselves, need to prove they are smarter than you. So he smirks at my protocal, had the balls to lecture me about the fact I couldn't spout my protocal back to him early in the quarter -- when I went to him originally for information on how to do DAPI staining, he gave me this really dense article on it. I went to the local marine microbial guy who said there was a simple protocol this first guy had. So I went back to the first guy and got it. Why he didn't give me the simple protocol in the first place is beyond me.
Ah well. So it goes. We all have our turf and territory, and apparently he needs to put me down to feel secure. (How the fuck I could threaten him is beyond me.)Still, I wish I didn't let it seep in. I wish it didn't trip my self doubt wires.
Yesterday was fun. I went back down to Monteray to sketch some ctenophores... got an ok series of this lobate ctenophore done. All the while playing interpreter to the public who was walking through. Tip: never try to capture the colors of irridescence while in the dark. heh.
So its about 10 days til its all over. 3 exams starting in one week. 2 homework sets for physics. 2 homework sets for stats. Grant application in by tomorrow (so I can go to a meeting in the fall and to cover my gradual school application expenses) . Plankton lab practical exam and turn in the notebooks on thurs. Stats exam on friday. Paper and oral presentation on this experiement on monday. Physics exam on Tues.
I'm kind of bummed its all going to end, but relieved as well. Time to become yet another unemployed marine biologist.
posted by
Just Mary at 12:48 PM
6 comments
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wFriday, May 17, 2002 |
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If you live anywhere near the central coast of California, RUN don't walk to the Aquarium in Monterey. The new jelly exhibit, Jellies: Living Art is absolutely spectacular, combining art, literature and nature to present these gelatinous beauties. I was blown away.
posted by
Just Mary at 12:33 AM
4 comments
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wThursday, May 16, 2002 |
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Tired today. Only 2 weeks left of classes, then a few days a midterms n final projects, then done. I think I'm getting a cold... I'm all sneezy and really tired.
I'm looking forward to this afternoon, however. We have a lecture down at MBARI by a ctenophore expert (a kind of jellyfish without stinging cells) and then we're going to the aquarium to sketch jelly type critters. Wish I had more energy for intelligent questions... I have all my spiffy sketching supplies with me. Wish I didn't have physics lab tonight so I could stay down there longer.
In other news, I've been offered a project by my professor to work on over the summer involving a local toxic dinoflagellate. It might culminate in a poster at an international conference in the fall. I'm pretty jazzed. I need to apply for some funding I know about to help out with learning electron microscopy and to help with the travel costs.
Oh, and the marymobile is mobile again. Yay. Thanks to everyone who listened to me whine and/or offered constructive suggestions. Or even non constructive.
Pssst.. Pope.. cut the "no one reads me anyway" martyrdom whine. Hope everyone has fun in Chicago, as well. Someone smooch slyph fer me.
.
posted by
Just Mary at 12:10 PM
4 comments
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wWednesday, May 08, 2002 |
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Up and down day yesterday. The up part: plankton class. I get really happy when I'm in that class. We're doing zooplankton now, so the body forms are more complex and more sci-fi-ish. And they make me laugh. Yesterday's clown was the crustacean that pees from the base of the second antenna -- yer basic lobster, shrimp, etc. How silly is that? It pees on its own head! Ok ok "excretes ammonia." Same thing. What is the heck is the evolutionary adaptation for head whizzing? Heh.
There's that mental hit I get from time to time -- hard to explain it, but its like seeing biology through the lens of science fiction. I guess its something sparking my imagination.... This time it was when we were talking about seed shrimp, these lil critters that have a carapace over most of their body, except for this massive eye on their head that sticks outside of it. Mom seed shrimp broods her young and you can see them as these massive eyes peering out from her body... Imagine if human babies could be seen as this watchful pondering eye peering from the human belly...
Who needs drugs when you have biology? Jerry Garcia is quoted somewhere as saying that if he'd discovered scuba diving 30 years before, he'd have never done drugs, because it was so psychedelic. I like to think it was because he was down there floating around, hanging with the inverts.
Top exam score, congratulations delivered by the prof. Blush blush blush. Was nice for me, cuz I was all hung up and intimidated at the beginning of the quarter over the grad students in the class. I'm immeasurably pleased.
So the down side of my day: a late invitation to an impromptu dinner gathering with friends. I hopped in the Marymobile and headed up over the mountains to go to sillycon valley. Blew out out a tire. Flat tire on the side of the road :( No spare. :( :( $130 to tow me back home. :( :( :( Major bummer.
I realize I have *no* idea how I'm going to fix this. Do I go buy a tire and a rim and change it? Have it towed to a garage and fixed? Go buy new tires, take 'em to the garage, have the car towed there and fix it? Do I buy two new tires so they're balanced? Moo.
So for now, the marymobile is parked, and I'm a public transit girl.
Sigh.
posted by
Just Mary at 6:15 AM
7 comments
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wMonday, May 06, 2002 |
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Uneventful weekend. I did no work. I feel bad about that. Instead I slept a lot. I went to the beach. I pondered the fact I'm graduating from college in a month (with 2 things left to finish).
If I was hip, I'd be too cool to walk in commencement. But being that I've never graduated from anything before -- college or high school, I'm kinda into this whole graduation thing. I went and rented the gown, arranged for the cap n tassle and ordered some announcements. Ouch. spendy. But what the hell. I turned my life upside down for this lil academic adventure. Might as well do it up. Besides, I'm too old to be hip.
I'm a bit amazed that I'm finishing. Seems like I've been doing this for so long, and its been such a struggle at times that hitting completion comes as a bit of a surprise. The "what's next" question looms in my mind, of course. I flirted with the idea of trying to go to antartica next year (well, actually it was more like "went on a few dates" ) but have decided against it for now. I wouldn't be able to go in a science capacity, and I want to be doing something with my degree, even if its only teaching high school. ( shouldn't say only.. teaching is pretty cool) I do want to go to that continent someday.
So instead of antartic adventures, I'm planning on sticking around this town next year, studying for the GREs and applying to gradual school. If anyone will have me. And fund me. And I'll have to make the money thing happen somehow in the interim.
Better go do some stats homework now. sigh. Senior slump is not just a cute phrase.
posted by
Just Mary at 11:01 AM
5 comments
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wThursday, May 02, 2002 |
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I'm in a mood.
Toilet overflowed onto the carpet 2 hours before I was going to get up for the day. Its still not fixed.
Neighbor's dog out barking at 6:45am.
I have a 14 hour day ahead of me.
I want the world to go away this morning.
posted by
Just Mary at 7:16 AM
4 comments
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wWednesday, May 01, 2002 |
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The Psuedonitzschia are blooming. My professor went down to Santa Barbara to look into some Brown Pelican deaths.. while down there, she saw sea lions in siezures -- a sign of domoic acid poisoning. The water samples from down there have many active diatoms. Our local water samples also have more pseudos than I've seen so far in the net tows since end of march. not that I'm an expert or anything. Chris and I got some good microscopy shots yesterday, which I'll be adding to my plankton screensaver.
So now I have the opportunity to do the investigation I was wanting to do... I got my sample bottles, am picking up some preservative today (formaldehyde woo hoo carcinogen!). I just have to figure out the staining and microscopy part.
posted by
Just Mary at 9:18 AM
2 comments
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