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The tandem pull of the sun and the moon
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wWednesday, June 27, 2001 |
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Added some stuff on the side to some of my other cultural activities. Yes, ladies an gents, she reads and listens to music in addition to playing Clanlord.
I also got a really cheap VCR a few weeks ago. MOVIES!!! woo hoo! I've been drenching my brain with all the movies over the past two years I haven't seen: Being John Malkovich, The Big Kahuna, Fight Club, Howards End, Natural Born Killers (director's cut), American Beauty, Erin Brockovich, just to name a few.
posted by
Just Mary at 1:23 PM
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Retail therapy yesterday... new books, new cd's, all used. Not as cool as *some* people's retail therapy (you know who you are) but its good enuff for me.
Why do we need sleep? Think of how much more we could do if we didn't have to snooze 1/3 of our day away... granted, I love sleep as much as the next person, but damn it sure takes a lot of time.
My apologies, incidentally, to all the Netscape (aka Diskscrape) users out there... apparently a script call in my blog no longer was necessary and was unavailable and all Netscape 4.x users were getting a 404 error when they tried to call up this page. If yer on Diskscrape and reading this, you know its fixed.
I'm currently pondering the future of LunaChick, one of my kitties. She's a sweet lil cat -- a mutant Himilayan who was living under my house as a stray when I moved in here almost 4 years ago. I love her dearly... the way she drools when she purrs, the malformed bones on her body, the way her lil china blue eyes waver when she tries to focus on anything, the way she snores so loudly when sleeping and the way she loves to play with whatever she can find.
Unfortunately, LunaChick has some behavoral problems. She was abused as a kitten around litterbox issues -- her chronic kidney disease makes her uninclined at times to use a litterbox when she's sick, and I'm pretty sure she was beaten because of it. If you go anywhere near her when she's trying to use the box, she runs and hides and won't come out. Anyway, I litterbox trained her when she moved in and mostly she's good about it, particularly if I take her and put her in the box a few times a day. (good thing I work out of my house) However, if given her druthers, the carpet in front of the door is her fav place.
Its kind of embarrassing to have anyone over with the way the house must smell. I don't even notice it, frankly, and I have an arsenal of tools I use to clean the carpet where she goofs. I think if she lived in a single cat household, it wouldn't be a problem for her -- she'd use the box more. (she prefers pristine conditions in her litterbox, lil princess that she is)
My lil house is an illegal unit in a town where there is a 0.2% vacancy. The place is a dump, frankly -- student living at its finest. The carpet was trashed when I moved in. The foundation is questionable, the doors leak when it rains. (should I worry about that black mold that grows on the door in the winter?) At least I'm not renting someone's concrete floor garage, a not uncommon living situation in Santa Cruz. But its not too far above that -- no heat, grass growing between the floorboards and the wall in the bedroom (studio plus), no closets, 40 electrical outlets and 18 phone jacks. Funky is an apt description.
So, I'm pondering if its time to find Luna another home. She's so pretty in spite of being a lil mutant, that most folks who see her fall in love with her. But she is a "special needs" kitty. I hate the idea of putting her down, but I'm not sure what to do at this point. Ideal for her might be living somewhere safe as an outdoors kitty. If I had the room, I'd build her a place to live within the house with her own litterbox. But we're all pretty crammed in this space.
sigh. I have to figure out something before August, when the landlords come in to do some work. Althea at puddleby.com will get any email to me, if anyone out there has any suggestions.
posted by
Just Mary at 8:48 AM
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wMonday, June 25, 2001 |
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wow, been a long time since I wrote anything...
Lots of good stuff going on. I'm playing music more... got together with Earl last weekend, checked out his new guitar -- a James Goodall (insert drool here), and played a bunch of tunes together. There were some Indigo Girls songs we sounded pretty good together on. Looks like we'll be playing together regularly, and I'm pretty jazzed about that. My ability to harmonize has gotten pretty rusty, and its good to have someone to sing with on a regular basis. He doesn't have the vocal ability of my friend Bill, but Bill is off working like a madman on his startup company so Earl will suffice.
Loved loved loved Earl's new guitar. I'm insanely jealous. I have a solid cedar-top Alvarez Yairi -- one of the signature series that Yairi made when he moved his luthier work to the US and began working for Alvarez. Its a sweet little guitar -- very pretty voice to it, handmade, -- but is still a blackbird in a room of larks and nightengales when I get together with my friends. They all pull out their Martins and Taylors and Loudins... guitars that cost thousands of dollars with rich voices, beautiful solid wood and fantastic necks, while I'm playing the guitar I've had since 1986. I guess I shouldn't complain... I paid $500 for the Alvarez and relatively speaking it *is* a beautiful guitar in its own right... a lovely rosewood neck, ebony fretboard, solid cedar top and rosewood back and sides with koa binding. The price was a steal at the time. I fell in love with it when I saw it way back when, hanging on the wall at Haight Ashbury Music... the first satin finish guitar I ever saw. I played it in the store and it was like buttah! It was beyond my budget back then, and although I had a perfectly solid, honest Washburn, the lust in my heart won out. After several months of working two minimum wage jobs, it was mine. I've never regretted the purchase, and given everything I've been through with that guitar, I'll never sell it. She taught me how to play, really.
But still, when I go by Sylvan Music and stop and browse, I do long for a new axe. Several of the folks I sometimes play with have only been at it for a few years, and they own Lexus' while I have a Camry. Ok, that's not a great analogy, but seeing beginners playing $3000+ guitars while I'm still with my Alvarez... it makes me sigh. But my cash is reserved for Other Things... school, back taxes, I need some new diving gear, plus my car is on its last legs...
Someday.
Rose and I are making preparations for our High Sierra weekend. I am completely an totally jazzed. My friend Ellen will be joining us, as well as Luna (yes that's her real name), so we will have an awesome grrl campground, with guitars and good friends. I'm looking for a funky tequila to bring -- we have a large hispanic population in the County and we get a lot of funky small tequila distilleries -- 500 barrel operations -- so the tequila selection is varied and fun. I'm bringing the Red Bull as well. Just 10 days til we head for the hills. Woo hoo!
Back to Earl, sweetie that he is, he had subscribed to Nature Magazine back when the Human Genome news first came out. He has discovered he finds many of the articles unintelligible, so he's given all his issues to ME. Yay! I read the website a lot and browse all the abstracts, but never get to read the full articles unless I remember to get 'em when I'm at the Science Library at school. So this feels like a HUGE windfall. I'd love my own subscription, but shelling out the cash has always felt like too much of an expenditure, especially when I can haul my butt up to school and read 'em there. So this is a real treat.
posted by
Just Mary at 7:18 PM
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wMonday, June 11, 2001 |
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Yay yay yay yay!! YAY!
Got my grades today for Development. I got an A, I got an A (insert here 39 year old woman hopping around the room chanting that in a sing-song voice). I'm quite delighted. Ok, its not the highest score in the class, (I'm in the middle of the A's) but I apparently did pretty well on the final, in spite of it being a bear.
Had a *great* weekend, one of the best in memory. Got together with some clanners in the day on Sat.. which was really really fun! We sat around, chatted, drank a beer or two, gossiped about chars. Then I went up to my friend Roses' for a jam.
Last time I was there, the male guitar energy was a little overwhelming... too many guitars, not enough listening to each other and I just wasn't into it. Lots of long guy solos and no room for me, and I wasn't assertive enough to grab solo space. I also just felt pretty disconnected from folks.
This time was different.
I was really tired before heading up to Menlo Park from San Jose, so I stopped an picked up a Red Bull. My first. *Wow*... that stuff is amazing. Its not just caffeine, like I thought. Tastes like drinking liquid SweetTart�. Dunno if it was the RedBull, or the group or me or a combo of all of that, but I felt great the whole night.
Carrie and Peter were there, and Carrie played a lot, which meant Rose played a lot, so we pulled together some good tunes... soulful stuff. I was able to put myself out there and do some lead work (not my strong suit, but I'm working on it) and do some fun rythymn work behind Chris and Peter. We aren't the Slyphonics, (heh) and it was all kinda loose, but it *felt* really good. And that's the point.
I know so many people who won't play in front of others... who won't sing in front of others or play their guitar. But playing music with other people is where I've learned the most and developed the most in terms of my own playing. Some folks tell me "oh I can't play, my hands are too small..." I defy anyone to show me their hands are smaller than mine. I know children with bigger hands than I have. I'll never comfortably do a 4 fret reach, but so what? Or folks tell me "I can't sing in front of others..." hell, I don't have a good voice, but its strong and over time my ear has improved tremendously. Screw shyness. Go out and make a fool of yerself... its fun. :)
Then there's the ever popular "I'm too old to pick up an instrument." Bah, say I. I was 23 when I started playing... I'll never be a roc star, but again, that's so not the point. I remember one guy telling me how he played all through grade school and high school, but gave it up because he realized he'd never make it big. Can anyone really play music that long and totally miss what its all about??
Playing music isn't about how you sound to others. Its about how it feels to you. Its about being able to communicate with other people in the language of music, whatever form that takes. The very best thing in the world is when a group of people are playing and singing and really listening -- hearts wide open to each other. You can be angry when playing, you can be annoyed, you can be happy -- the one thing you can't be is emotionally shut down. Not if you're making good music.
I had the pleasure of transcribing an Aierto Moira interview once... he stated somewhere in the interview that he thought that if the heads of state all got together and drummed, there would be no more war. I can't say I disagree with him.
So I left the jam at 2:30 am... us old farts get tired, and I had an hour drive back to my house. I went home humming to myself, singing out loud in my car (my radio and tape deck are broken, so I have to make my own music), glancing up at the bright moon as I drove home through the redwoods. The buzz from that night is still with me.
It will be a few days til I can play again -- I tore open my pinky finger on my picking hand on my strings. Have numb fingertips from callouses reforging... makes typing a lil weird. I know of a place next weekend where some folks are gathering to drink homebrewed beer and make music. I plan on crashing the event.
Ripped up hands and an open heart. The sure signs of a good night.
posted by
Just Mary at 6:25 PM
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wSaturday, June 02, 2001 |
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Ah, the last weekend of the quarter.
I've been less than faithful in posting... mostly cuz I haven't had much to say, or I have had too much to say and some things are better left unsaid.
My development final is on Monday at 4pm and the prof and TA have said its formidable. So my weekend is cut out for me.
Got my last exam back and I was annoyed. heh. That awful borderline A/B nonsense.
I'm not super hung up on grades... not like some of my student colleagues. But I set a goal for myself of getting an A in this class, and I'd like to meet this personal goal and right now its not assured. Plus, I hate B's. Just hate 'em. They mean you weren't outstanding, nor were you mediocre... you were "good." Mostly I hate 'em cuz I think/know I can do better. The world doesn't end on a grade, but its a personal disappointment when I get a B.
I used to think I was a good test taker, but I don't think I am anymore. In my evolution class last year, the first exam was a disaster... full of essay questions that panicked me. I passed it, but it sucked.. fortunately I rocked the final in that class -- gimme 3 hours to do an exam and I'm much more calm and collected.
The summer looms in front of me and I have a lot to do to get some things back on track -- work, finances, car stuff to deal with, plus I need to get out more and see friends. I have plans over the Fourth to go to the High Sierra Music Festival with my friend Rose. It's three days of music on a couple different stages, and always a blast to attend. Bands I'm looking forward to seeing include Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, Jazz Mandolin Project, Tony Furtado, Yonder Mountain String Band (friends of mine have been raving about 'em), Hanuman, Leftover Salmon, and Laura Love.
Rose has requested that I keep my tent far from hers. One of the best things (for me) about these festivals is the jam sessions that happen at night... many of the attendees bring their instruments and you can play music all night long. Its truly a blast. Anyway, Rose and I end up on different schedules when we go to festivals together... she goes to sleep around 1 or 2am and I'm up til dawn usually. Which means I miss the "early" music that happens at before oh... 3pm.
I'm looking forward, in any case.
But back to "getting out more," someone in Clanlord today who's rping loss and disaster was commenting to me that when you are down, you are truly alone and when you need help and contact you don't get it. My character was sympathetic, but she sees how this other character is isolating himself. That's what I did for the past 18 monthes since my mother died.
This was not a lightbulb going off today -- the recognition of how I've isolated myself. When something bad happens, like parental death, you notice which friends are calling and which aren't. But its truly difficult when you are low like that to reach out to people. Because if they aren't there when you reach out, it sucks all the more. So, you don't reach out and end up more isolated and feeling alone.
So really, the thing to do to break the cycle is put on the happy face and get yer butt out there again. That's the direction I'm headed in.
posted by
Just Mary at 4:31 PM
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